Call me crazy and start Tatum Bell!

Yes, that's right, start Tatum Bell this weekend! You know you drafted him 4 rounds to early, or did you? Three years ago I had a certain Clinton Portis who sat waiting for his chance to shine behind worthless Mike Anderson. Well maybe not worthless, but you throw Ron Dayne in for 20 carries in a system like Denvers against the Chiefs and I bet you he would have run off more than 98 yards. Anderson only managed 54 yards on 19 carries if you take away his 44 yard jaunt into the end zone, that's only a 2.8 yard per carry average, that sucks. Now take Tatum Bell, he had five carries for 47 yards, a 9.4 yard average. "What about the long run he had?" Okay, take away Tatum's 24 yard run, he was still averaging 5.75 yards per carry. What does this mean? It means Mike Anderson is going to get stuffed early and often this weekend against the Jags. Mike Shanahan will pull the bastard, or he'll get injured, and in will come Tatum Bell, and he will finish the game, he will get a TD, and he will become Denvers starting RB. No more RBBC bullshit.

I know the prognosticators are saying that you shouldn't start anyone from Denver against the Jags run D, but trust me, when Mike Anderson gets stuffed he'll be pulled for Bell, and if Bell is any good he'll be in for the rest of the game. You do think Bell will make the most of his opportunity, don't you? I mean why else would you draft the guy in the third round you moron! If he sucks you'll see Ron Dayne on the field, no good can come of that. Tatum Bell is the most talented back they have, and Shanahan, as much as every Fantasy owner hates him, always ends up using the best back.

Want to buy some nice artwork for those barren walls?

Or maybe they're not barren, maybe they have a Guinness beer sign, or a poster of something, you know, like everyone else. You might even have a poster of a nice famous painting, maybe a Van Gogh or a Monet, but don't you want some real paintings on those walls? The reason I ask is because I did for a long time, but every time I saw something on a wall hanging at some joint, even if I thought it sucked, it was for like $500. Who would spend $500 on crap like that? So then I looked online for some guides to buying art, all I found was that cheap art is under $1000. That's not cheap.

I decided to check out some art galleries, and I found one in Chicago called the Framing Gallery in Lincoln Square, which sells original oil paintings in frames for $280+. Now I thought that was really cheap, and some of them were real nice and I was ready to splurge to buy a painting, but the owner couldn't tell me anything at all about any of the artists, having recently purchased the gallery. My fear of course was that I'd end up buying something like a Thomas Kinkade, some mass produced gaudy piece of crap that morons overpay for. So then I went to an antique mall with my wife, and we saw some nice paintings, we bought one, them we went to another place and bought another, next day we headed for a new antique place, bought a third one. Three paintings for around $300. One from 1930 (to the right), one from the 50's-60's (not pictured) and a third one from who knows (pictured up top)? All three paintings are nicer and feel more like real art then anything new hanging on a wall at a restaurant. All three are genuine oil, the oldest from 1930 is of a sailboat on Lake Michigan, on the back of the painting the artist titled it "Voyage Home" (or maybe
"Return Voyage" I can't remember). It turns out one painting is by a painter named Burnett (not pictured yet). Burnett painted Paris cityscapes, I've seen his paintings go for $150-$1,000+, it seems he painted a lot of Moulin Rouge, the Eiffel Tower and Notre Dame Cathedral, I'm happy to say our painting is none of those, but if anyone knows what street it is of (as soon as I post an image of it) I will be grateful.

Our fourth painting purchase was on Ebay. It was the most fearsome, but ultimately the best of the four. The painting is of the canal of Nyhavn in Copenhagen, a place coincidentally, where my wife and I had some great herring, it is more famous as the place where Hans Christian Anderson lived. The painting is by Ove Svenson, I've looked at his paintings and I really like his style. Let me know if you like it.

Image stolen from http://www.shortfatguy.com/blog.php

This is a little mean and I apologize ahead of time, but Cheney will have complications with his knee aneurysm surgery planned for this Saturday. How do I know? Two things, first he has really bad karma, the man is a walking karma time bomb. On top of that the guy is clearly not a healthy individual, you would think if you had three heart attacks you would cut down on Angus steak consumption, but not this guy. He shakes his fists at God and thinks that whatever he breaks in his body will get fixed by the doctors, well not so fatso. Sooner or later, if you have as many operations as this asshole, you have to run into a major complication. With any luck it'll kill the bastard, or will it be luck? You see, Bush has to put someone into Cheney's place soon, or else who can he handpick to be his successor in '08? You heard it here first, Cheney will step down sooner or later because of health issues, or Dubya will off him with a staph infection, either way Cheney won't be the VP for long.

Could a drunk Bush do any worse then a sober Bush?

Bush is hitting the liquor cabinet again, just like when he was a teenager, or a Yale student, or an oil industry insider, or an owner of the Texas Rangers, well you get the picture. Here is the article if you want to find out more. It's based on an Enquirer report, but as far as things ringing true or hollow, this one is no doubt about it true. I also think the Enquirer is a bit more careful when it comes to Dubya, you don't want to get sued for libel by the leader of the free world.

So does this surprise anyone? If anyone has ever been to an AA or NA meeting, everyone knows you're an alcoholic forever. Dubya was, is and always will be an alcoholic, he may have been a recovering alcoholic after he "found" the Church, but now he is back to being the miserable drunk he has always been.

You know how Dubya always makes it seem like he has this "strong" character? What a bunch of bullshit, drunks don't have strong character. If they had strong character they wouldn't be drunks, now would they? They would overcome their desire or need for the booze, or they could do what most people do, drink responsibly. I mean the problem with Dubya isn't that he'll drink a shot of Wild Turkey, it's that he'll drink the whole bottle after he takes that shot.

Now the real question is this: are you scared, happy or disappointed? I'm sure the 74% of republicans who still feel Bush is doing a "good" job would say "silly" and claim it isn't true (but how about those 16% of Democrats who think he is doing a good job, that's bullshit if I ever heard it in any poll, no Democrat feels Bush is doing a good job, they don't fucking EXIST!!!), but I don't care about those nitwits. My guess is Liberals will mostly say "scared! Look who has the finger on the nuclear button", but that's bullshit. I know Bush is going to be kept away from the public during his drunkenness, but could a drunk Bush do any worse then a sober Bush? I don't think so. So the REAL feeling is happiness, this hollow, shallow, miserable, worthless piece of crap we have for a President is finally hitting rock bottom. We have our redemption, what we said would happen HAS happened (how about those assholes in 2000 that said "well, Gore and Bush are like, the same, so I'm going to vote for Nader", I almost got into fistfights over that), now we can have a little solace while watching the country fall apart.

"Sorry to have not posted for so long"

I've noticed a disturbing trend on peoples websites or blogs, it's the "Sorry to have not updated my site in so long, but I'll get to it" language. The problem here is that these people actually think someone CARES whether they have been up to date on the website or blog they keep. So let me enlighten them, no one cares!!! The biggest problem with this statement is that it is a lie, we know the damn website or blog won't get updated because the statement was written in February of 2003 or something. Or it's a blog, and you can see that someone diligently made entries everyday, then the person starts apologizing for missing a few days (am I missing something? what rule states you MUST write something in your blog everyday?), the days turn into weeks, months, and now we see the last entry was a year ago. So I won't treat anyone to the same indignity, when I get tired of this shit I'll stop and I won't utter a word when I return about how "sorry" I am to have missed a week.

Oh, and sorry for not posting anything for a few days. Sike! (has that word left our common vernacular? It was VERY popular in my High School days, but it usually involved punching)

Odd thing happened this weekend, it's around 2 a.m. on saturday night (sunday morning), I've had my three beers (maybe four) and I'm soundly sleeping when I get awoken to the sound of thumping on the roof. Since my ass got woken up, I decide to investigate, I open my door and check the opening onto the roof, it's open. I go back inside, put on something decent, I'm talking to myself at this point saying incongruent things like "some fucking sons of bitches, what the fuck, I'm trying to fucking sleep, god damn it", you get the picture. So I get my ass on the ladder and get my ass onto the roof ready to let loose with some choice words. I get up there and I see a resident making out with some chick, I hesitated at this point because this was going to be a major cock-block, but then I thought back to my buddy Chris who gets cock-blocking medals and decided to speak: "Um, first off, you can't just be coming on the roof" this startled them, but I wasn't done, "and second of all, you woke me up." With these choice words I got my ass down the ladder, scratching my right leg, and I got into my place. Soon after I heard the bumps and scrapes of the roof entrance being closed. Another night of excitement put to bed.

I rule at Fantasy Football, I just buried my friend Dan by about 40 points this week, he still has Joe Horn to go but for all intents and purposes, it's over. I finally feel good about my team. I haven't felt good about my team in well over two years. I joined up to play Fantasy Football in 2002, and my first year was a success, I won the championship. I did the unprecedented task of repeating a year later. As all champions know, if you win a championship you have no place to go but down, and in my third year I suffered a humiliating season wherein I ended up a spot before last, not making the playoffs. My first season I was dominant and felt good about my team every week, my second season I hovered above .500 hundred and worried whether I'd make the playoffs before making some waiver wire pickups at seasons end that smashed my opponents. My third year was forgetable and I worried over my useless team every week. But this year? This year I'm good, I'm money baby! Bring 'em on! I lost my first game, but I was calm, one TD from TO and I would have won, and that TD was probable, and I was without my tight end Antonio Gates. This week my RB's did nothing, combing for less than 10 points, but the rest of my team was dominant. Once McGahee starts running like he can I'll be a like a runaway tank, no, I'm not worried about this season. It'll be fun.

I was just thinking how Steve Dahl ruined Mark Knopfler's Golden Heart album for me by saying on the air that he liked it. Isn't that awful? I dislike a man so much that he can ruin an entire album for me, and what in the hell was I doing listening to that whale for anyways?

For those that don't remember, Steve Dahl used to be cool. He authored the infamous Disco Demolition Night in Chicago, if only I could have been there! Actually, when I think about it, I was only two at the time, so it would have sucked for me and I probably would have shit my diapers, but I digress. Steve had a show with Gary Meier, it was called (you guessed it!) Steve & Gary, and it was really funny because Steve was always drunk and he was actually funny when he was wasted off his ass. He then decided to sober up, put on a couple hundred pounds and suck up the afternoons in Chicago.

This was during my high school days, the days when radio was cool, I am referring to the early 90's. We had JB, Kevin Mathews, Steve & Gary, it was good. Now radio sucks. I have NO ONE to listen to in the mornings. At least at noon I have Al Franken, but what about mornings? Mancow is and always has been a fraud, I never cared for Howard Stern (slapping a stripper on the ass with a fish, okay, so that was funny), Mike North is stupid, Jerry Springer is AWFUL, it's all bad. I've resorted to NPR, but give me JB! Once again, I digress.

The point I was making was, I think, that some people can ruin a good thing by being people you hate. The following people ruin all sorts of things for me: Dubya ruins America for me, Limbaugh ruins good debate, Dusty Baker (I hate that piece of crap) makes it impossible for me to root for the Cubbies, Barry Bonds made me hate the achievements of Sammy Sosa and Mark McGwire, and of course that rotten Edward Moskal made the PNA dead to me.

Get Your Damn Shoes Out of the Hallway!

So I live in a Condominium and we have our assessments due the same day each month. In the past 14 months I have been late by one day twice, but nonetheless I get this bullshit late fee, which under the "rules" I deserve. The guy that doles out the late fees is my next door neighbor and acts as if he is a "friend", he is pretty damn anal about it all. Though I have to question whether a "friend" shouldn't first come up to you and say "hey, come up with the assessment money or I have to give you a late fee under these damn rules". So I guess he isn't a friend, I would never give MY friend a late fee.

The beauty of the whole thing is that this guy is breaking the rules himself, you see his front door is barricaded by what has become his personal shoe closet. It's really a hallway, but he acts like it's an IKEA wardrobe for shoes. He has a chair, a big ole rubber mat, and not less then ten pairs of shoes on that damn mat. Granted, I don't really give a damn what people put out in front of the units, but a shitload of shoes? Plus it really pisses my wife off. To boot (pun intended) it is against the rules of the condo we live in. So since my "friend" feels it is okay to dole out late fees for being one day late I feel okay with what I'm going to do. I'm going to do the same thing he does to me every time I'm late with an assessment, I'm going to slip a note under his door, it's going to say "Get Your Damn Shoes Out of the Hallway!" Then I'll throw in a fee for breaking the Condo rules. How do you like them apples?

Bush Junior and Senior finally arrive on location in New Orleans

I'm sure this is all over the net but I think it is damn funny. What kind of fish is that BTW?

Lenin reincarnated?

I have a cat, his name is Lenin, and he looks like the former communist dictator to boot. What do you think?

I'm curious, as I'm sure most of you are NOT, whether Jonathon Brandmeier, also known as Johnny B and most recently heard out in LaLa land, will finally get his ass BACK to Chi-town. Rumor has it he will be on WLUP 97.9, the station from his heyday. That would be nice, I'm waiting for the eagle to land, but while you're waiting check out Johnny B's site, it has to suffice before he returns. Oh, and will Buzz dump the fat whale and return to Johnny's show?

The one thing I have figured out from the confirmation hearings is that Roberts is an executive branch proponent, not a conservative ideologue (or so I hope). For example, I was listening to NPR and they mentioned that Roberts was tapped to help argue Clinton's case in front of the Supreme Court. You may remember that the question was whether Paula Jones could pursue her civil suit while Clinton was an acting President. Roberts representation didn't end up happening (through no fault of his own according to NPR), but the fact that anyone termed a "conservative" would want to represent Clinton in such a high profile case indicates to me that he is mostly interested in preserving the power of the executive branch and not in pursuing some conservative agenda, and that would be a good thing, unless of course your greatest fear is of an overly powerful executive branch.

Finally the Poles are getting some players into some respected leagues. Some of you may know that one of Poland's starting strikers in the 2002 World Cup was Pawel Kryszalowicz, a guy who was playing for a second division German team. Poland is doing slightly better, now we have Grzegorz Rasiak who has unexpectedly moved to Tottenham to help the Spurs, and Maciej Zurawski who now plays for Celtic and will hopefully enjoy some success. Poland also has two goalkeepers in the Isles, Boruc who along with "Magic" Zurawski plays for Celtic and Jerzy Dudek, who helped Liverpool to the European championship last year. Of course we also have Kamil Kosowski who plays for a 2nd Division side Southampton, Frankowski who made an awful move from Polish champion Wisla to perennial 2nd division La Liga team Elche. I have to maintain that I feel better about Poland in 2006 then I did in 2002. Now all that needs to be done is a sound defeat of England in Wembley, easier said than done.